Roberta and the Genie

Piles upon piles of junk, sitting there covered in dust.  That's all she saw in her grandmother's old house.  The funeral was yesterday, and she'd been stuck with the task of cleaning and tagging everything for a yard sale, now that her aunts & uncles had all gone back home.  Her mother was too grief-stricken to deal with things, she burst into tears at the site of each old tchotchke.  Her younger brothers were off at summer camp, leaving her to do this chore solo.

She never got along with her grandmother very well, being a tomboy didn't match up to the old biddy's opinion of what a lady should be.  Each birthday all she got was a dress that never ended up being worn.  The worst gift of all was the name handed down to her, Roberta.

In the sweltering heat of the attic, she was gathering up the last few boxes to work on It was nearly empty when she noticed a faint glimmer in the corner.  "Great... junk she couldn't even bother to keep in a box!"  She sighed out of frustration again as she went over to pick the thing up.

It was the first neat thing she'd seen all day, a movie prop lamp.  "Must have been from her days as an actress."

Roberta picked it up and headed downstairs with just the lamp.  It was tarnished from sitting out in the open, so she went into the kitchen and got the cleaning supplies to give it a polish so she could charge more at the yard sale.  Applying a little to a buffing cloth, she gave the lamp a few rubs before it started to rattle.

Roberta dropped it onto the counter and screamed as a light purple smoke started to shoot out of the opening.

"No way!"

The smoke billowed out into a human-like form, matching the color of the smoke.  She smiled as she looked it over, it was some sort of cat person, and she reached out to touch it, finding it soft and fuzzy as her hand caressed it.

"Hey lady watch the fur, I keep it silky clean and pure.  As to your query it's yes way, the genie of the lamp is here today!"

She backed up as he spoke to her, looking at him rather dumbfounded.  "You're a genie?"

"A genie I am, you can call me Sam, now that you've got my name, I'll ask you for the same."

She blinked a few times before speaking, "Roberta."

"Roberta, that's no fun.  Mind if I call you Bobbi, hun?"

She nodded in response and the genie continued.  "Well miss Bobbi, I've got quite the deal for you to see.  Three wishes, for the low low price of absolutely free."

"Well, can you stop rhyming everything you say?"

"Genie regulation, four hundred twenty five, says all I say must rhyme, as long as I'm alive."

"Hmm... well I wish for a thousand wishes."

"A very well thought wish, if only I could grant, but regulation three one four, it states that I can't."

She stood there looking rather frustrated, before her belly started to grumble.  "I am getting kind of hungry."  She heard the grandfather clock chime two o'clock and realized her mom was 90 minutes late with lunch.

"The wishes are, what I obey, 'I wish to blank', is what you must say.  But I will advise, my mistress Bobbi, think big, wish big, for you only have three."

"Wish big you say?"  She smiled to herself, crossing her arms with a proud smile on her face, "Okay Genie... I wish to be fed everything on the face of the planet!"

The genie stepped back, looking somewhat impressed.  "When you need me again, just call my name, but until that time, enjoy the game!"  With that the cat bowed his head and poofed back into a cloud of smoke that re-entered the lamp.

Bobbi stood there for a moment, taking in all that had just happened to her.  She wondered if she was delusional from the smell of mothballs, standing confused until the doorbell rang.

"Finally, mom's here with some pizza."

She rushed to the front of the house, pulling the door wide open, her mouth going wide at the site on the porch.  A very handsome man standing there next to a stack of pizza boxes as tall as himself.  She stammered at him until he spoke.

"You Bobbi?"

All she could do was nod at him.

He turned back to yell into the street, "This is the place guys!"

Two muscular men pushed past the first one and hefted her off of her feet, setting her down into her grandmother's recliner.  They leaned the chair back as the stack of pizza boxes was carted over to her, and the first slice was offered up to her lips.

Still shocked, she took to the first slice of pizza, delighting in the taste.  The men held up a second and a third slice, which she ate dutifully before putting her hand up, having finally gathered enough conscience to speak.

"What's going on?"

The delivery guy came over from the front door to explain, "Well Bobbi, we've got a work order here to feed you all of these pizzas."  He presented her with a sheet of paper, then motioned for the guys to continue feeding her.

Bobbi didn't seem to mind, quickly settling into the rhythm of eating piece after piece of pizza.  When the grandfather clock started to chime again, she realized she'd been eating pizza for nearly an hour.  Her mouth full and cheeks bulged out with her nth slice, she looked down and nearly choked on the slice as she looked at her belly.

The delivery guy ran out to his truck and got her some pop, forcing the bottle between her lips to get liquid in to wash the pizza down.  Another slice came up to her lips and she pushed the man's hands away.

"Hey, Bobbi, we got a job to finish, so you do your thing and we'll do ours."  The hand insisted the piece at her and she was forced to eat it before she could speak again.

"Woah... how many pizzas have I eaten?  How many do you have for me?"  She moaned a bit, rubbing over her swollen stomach, it felt at least thirty pounds heavier.

The delivery guy looked at the stacks of pizza in the living room, he had wheeled in many more while the other two guys had been feeding her.  "Let's see... you've got twenty empties over there, and my order was for... two hundred."

"TWO HUN..." another piece was forced into her mouth as she screamed, and after swallowing she screamed again, "SAM!"

The men around her froze in place as the purple cat poofed back into view, grinning wide as he looked down at her.  "Well Miss Bobbi, if I must say, the meal is going well..."

"Shut up and stop this, I've had enough!"

"...I must obey.  Genie regulation, number seventy two, says wish two can't be granted, 'til the first one is through."

"But... but I'll explode!"

"All wishes are safe, says regulation twenty-two, no injuries or death, can come from what I make true."

The genie bowed his head again and time started right back up, another piece of pizza offered up to her lips.  Bobbi did her best to relax, half-hoping her mother would show up and put an end to this, half-content that she hadn't yet.

Time passed as the stacks of pizza dwindled, and Bobbi found the genie's word to be true.  Even with half of the pizzas stuffed into her stomach, she didn't feel any pain.  She did have another familiar feeling though.  With her mouth filled again, she put her hands up over it and swallowed.  As the guys started to move her hands she yawned and screamed at them, "I'm tired!  I need to rest!"

The delivery man nodded and looked to his assistants, "Okay guys, bring in the machine.  Bobbi, you go ahead and relax."

"Relax?!  What machine?"  When the man didn't reply, she started to panic before remembering the genie's promise.  "Nevermind... you go ahead and bring out whatever..."

She yawned again, flipping the footstand up in the recliner to get more relaxed.  She was dead to the world in mere seconds as the delivery guys wheeled in their contraption.

While slumbering she had visions of other things she could have wished for.  Fame, fortune, trips around the world, but in each dream she started growing uncontrollably.  Oddly, they didn't seem like nightmares.  

She awoke hours later to quite the sight.  All of the pizza boxes were emptied, stacked along the wall with boxes from other pizza joints.  Along them all were containers from every Chinese restaurant, fast food place and donut shop in town.  On her face was a strange mask that she couldn't seem to pull off, with a hose that went straight down her throat.

The strangest part was how big she had grown.  Her belly was immense, but it wasn't the only part of her that had swollen.  A shake of her rear end showed that she had crushed the barcalounger she was on sometime in the night, but her view of the room was at a higher vantage point than before.  A quick look up showed that she was nearly at the ceiling.  Suddenly realizing that her clothing would have obviously ripped in the process, she went to cover her breasts, finding that a blanket had been placed over each one.

"Guess they were distracting the workers."  She chuckled to herself before slapping a meaty hand on the ground to get someone's attention.

"Hey guys, she's awake!"

The new larger crew of feeders assembled, there were now twenty men and women working to feed her.  As a couple worked to release her feeding mask, the first delivery guy stepped up to address her.

"Probably wondering how we kept feeding you during the night."

Bobbi nodded down at him, rubbing over her belly to take a feel of just how much had been packed into her.

The man pointed into the corner, "See this device breaks foods down into a slurry, then shoots it through the hose system and into that mask."  He chuckled as Bobbi picked up the mask and sucked the remaining food through the hose, clearing out the machinery.

"Now that you're awake, we can go back to feeding you manually or with the machine."

Bobbi responded by shifting her ponderous form into a laying position and opening wide, and the crew of workers began dutifully shovelling in more food.  Bobbi delighted as more and more came into her mouth, delighting in the various flavors of all the food in town, and in the fact that it now took an army to feed her.  

She didn't notice her continued growth until her wide rear end pushed up against the ceiling, then up into the roof.  The workers continued unabated as she swelled through the house and into the daylight, her grandmother's home exploding around her.  Chewing on a convenience store's worth of food, she looked around the neighborhood, smiling around her bulging cheeks.  Every road in the neighborhood had delivery trucks parked on it, from pizza delivery cars to big grocery store semis.

As the day went on each truck was emptied out, the contents brought to her and crammed down into her belly.  They started bringing raw materials as well, bales of grain, silos of corn, even fresh livestock.  Just before they moved to live animals she was hooked up to a new feeding machine, which caused her a fair amount of relief.  She didn't mind eating meat, but she didn't want to be the one to chew it up while it was still moving around.

As the sun went down, a mixture of food and freshly cut trees was being dumped into the enormous hopper of her feeding machine.  She started to wonder what they would do when they ran out of food, but it didn't keep her up as the dark and cold of night hit and she fell back to sleep.

In the night, the neighborhood was razed, picked clean to feed her.  They started with the smaller stuff, street signs and lamp posts, bushes and sheds.  Bobbi snored, drowning out the sounds of demolition equipment that came to rip up the houses and streets.  Once the neighborhood was barren, they moved into town, all of the broken down material filing down into Bobbi's belly as she swelled across the former neighborhood, now covering the barren area.

The town was gone by sunrise, beams of light and heat gently waking Bobbi up for the third day of her feast.  She blinked a few times, looking out into the distance to see other towns being dismantled, all the roads and highways nearby overflowing with huge vehicles, carrying it all to her.  She looked down the length of her feeding tube, smirking as it was now hooked to a new device roughly the size of a city block.  It was tiny to her, but enormous to the busload of people driving into the hopper.

Seeing the sight she screamed around the hose, too late for the people on the bus who were already being sent down the length and into her belly.  The sound was heard across the state, but it was so muffled no one could tell what was going on, they just kept working.

One being understood the noise, and time froze as Sam reappeared.

"Good morning Miss Bobbi, you've been quite busy I see.  Why have you called me here, on this sunny morning dear?"

She mumbled around the hose until a snap of Sam's fingers made it disappear.  "I wanted food... why am I being fed buildings and... people?"  She sniffled a bit before the last word in her sentence.

The genie smiled, then grew many times larger, to the size of a house-cat in comparison to Bobbi's city-sized frame.  He rubbed a fuzzy paw over her cheek and dried a tear.  "From the face of the Earth you wanted everything, and the terms of your wish are what I must bring.  All that is called a noun, it must be stuffed down.  People and buildings qualify, please do your best not to cry."  The cat smiled and turned, poofing away as time moved back up to speed.

She considered all of this as a few more busloads of people came down her feeding tube.  She still had two more wishes after this, she'd just wish things back to normal and still have one more for fun.  In fact, she decided to have some fun with this right now.

She reached forth with her enormous hands, smiling behind the mask that held the feeding apparatus on, and she gripped the base.  Feeling around she found a lever, pushing lightly on it to figure out which way would increase the suction.  Once she had that figured out she turned it on the side, the bowl facing the nearest city.  She cranked the lever to the maximum level and giggled with glee as a wind funnel formed and began pulling the rubble towards her.  The entire city came to her at once, shooting down into her belly.  She nearly felt full for a second, but her belly grumbled for more.  Not one to argue with it she began moving in a circle, keeping the device in front of her to pull in whatever was nearby.  

She willed the device on to bring her more and more, sucking in cities, forests, highways and the soil beneath them, down to the dry rocky crust.  After a few hours North America was picked clean.  Looking at the barren land she readied herself to head South, holding the now tiny device in between her fingers.  She slipped on her way down and dropped it, grumbling as she watched it break apart on the ground.  The mask and hose were still connected to her mouth, and it was at this point she realized that it had been expanding with her.  It gave her a great idea for the next course.

She faced east and looked out into the ocean, putting her hands on the coast.  She let the hose sink into the water for a while before she started drinking, a constant guzzle disrupting the tides across the globe, making the water very choppy.  It didn't impact her drinking in the slightest, she just chugged and drained the water down lower and lower.  As she drank, the remaining population worked to consolidate the remains of the world into piles, pyramids of consumable matter to complete her wish.

The chugging stayed at a consistent low pitch until she hit bottom, aiming the hose around to try and find any more water.  A few little patches were found, resulting in a frightening slurp that echoed around the world as if to tell the remaining population that they were next.  One last mighty inhalation sucked the hose and the mask down into Bobbi, leaving her free to finish her wish on her own terms.

She started by going around the equator, chowing on everything the land had to offer, country by country.  As she ate the spiciest parts of the globe she considered getting something cooler next.  After her first lap she headed straight for the north pole, and gobbled up all of the land that had been buried under ice for millenia, relieved that it was still rather cold.  With the top cleared off she started spiraling around the globe, laughing as she moved between light and dark regions, her body large enough now to be in two different parts of the day.

In time she spiraled back down to the equator, the northern hemisphere of the world plucked clean and stuffed into her amazing stomach.  The southern hemisphere followed more quickly than the north, until she slurped up the remains of Antarctica like a snowcone.

She sat there on the south pole for a while, looking into space to see the satellites and the moon spinning around.  She realized that she had also sucked in all the vapors around the earth, there wasn't a cloud or even a speck of blue in the sky.  A look over her body, at least as big as the moon now, showed that the lack of an ozone had given her quite the tan.

She reclined onto her back, looking up at the moon, pondering all that she had just consumed.  Billions of people, trillions of lives, every conumable resource, and everything that mankind had built in their short time on the globe.  It just wasn't enough for her.  "SAM!"

The genie appeared, floating between her and the moon.  "My oh my, what's this I spy, is it all in your tum, has your conquest been won?"

"Well that's the thing Sam... I don't think it has all been fed to me yet."

The genie looked puzzled and quickly spun around the world a few times, seeing nothing but the crust of the world left.  He stopped back in front of her, "You have cleared this place, of everything on it's face.  If you want to continue, it'll be with wish number two."

"Au Contraire my fine feline."  Bobbi chuckled as she lifted up a fist and slammed it into the surface.  The rock shattered, with large stones breaking up and into the air before rocketing back down.  "This rock is on the face of the earth... I want it."

The genie sighed a bit, his kind never liked being outsmarted on wordplay by mortals.  Still she had made her point.  Boulder by boulder, the crust started to break up, large chunks flying into Bobbi's mouth.  Below that the magma cooled as it lost its casing, turning into solid stone that made her next course.  Bobbi jiggled her stomach as her gravity surpassed that of the remaining planet, allowing her to turn and watch it disappear, rock by rock until the cooled iron core shot down her throat, leaving her to fill the void of the missing planet.

"Mmmmm... not bad for rock, I think I've developed a taste for planets."

"Is that a clue to wish two, that you wish for me to make true?"

Bobbi snorted, looking at the cat and the orbiting moon, "Well, see that's the thing Sam, I don't think I need those last two wishes."  The genie looked down to the planet-sized lass with a confused look.  "Well, let me make sure, where does your power come from?"

"Why you sill scamp, it comes from the lamp!"

"Mmmhmmm, and the lamp was on the face of the earth, right?"

The genie nodded before his eyes bugged out, realizing the peril he was in.  Bobbi yawned, and Sam felt himself drawn into the gaping maw.  As she felt the genie's smoke fly over her tongue she laughed as his power started to surge through her body.

With the genie gone, she rubbed her hands together, laughing in the vacuum of space.  The might of the genie coursed through her body as she stared at the moon.  She tried to draw it closer with her mind, but it stayed locked in orbit.  She grumbled out of frustration as her belly grumbled with hunger.  

Sinking her hands into the fat of her belly, she said "I wish that was close enough to eat!"

On cue the gray sphere appeared right in front of her face.  She opened up wide and sucked the whole thing into her cavernous mouth, then gulped it down without even chewing.

"I wish I could suck down everything in the universe!"

Nothing changed after she finished the wish, so Bobbi took a look through space, locking her eyes on Mars.  She opened up and sucked with all of her might, and the red planet drew closer.  She stopped inhaling and the planet kept its momentum towards her, but it was taking far too long.  She sucked in again, drawing in some tiny asteroids, even speeding up the hurtling planet's trip, but it was still way too far away.

"Let's try this again... I wish I could bring anything in the universe to me instantly!"

Bobbi smiled as her followup wish worked much better, the red planet came right in front of her in seconds.  She looked through space, focusing on planet after planet until the entire solar system was lined up in front of her.  She started her next course, and as she ate she concentrated on the worlds of other stars.  By the time she finished off the Sol's seven other planets, there were hundreds orbiting around her.

She spun around, looking at her menu, inspecting each.  She found another water-covered sphere, the proof of alien life.  GULP!  It felt good to wipe out another global civilization.  She then started stuffing herself indiscriminately, gas giants, rocky worlds, barren, teeming with life, they all went down her throat.  Each one made her larger, leaving the remaining spheres tinier.  

When they reached the point of crumbs she sucked in all that remained around her, getting a mouthful before setting off for her next course.  She looked right at Sol, the sun that gave her life.  Even though she had consumed thousands of planets, it was still just a little larger than her.  Not for long though!

She put her hands onto the sides of the great glowing star, it felt warm in her grasp, but one or more of her wishes made it tolerable.  She leaned her face to it and licked down to the surface, putting out the fire whever she slid her tongue.  The transfer of energy was amazing, she felt herself growing from just the heat absorption.  When she had cooled off enough of the surface she put her lips down onto it, kissing the star before she started sucking it in.

The taste was fantastic, driving her to take larger and larger swallows, swelling bigger and bigger as the star shrank before her.  It all disappeared into her far too quickly, leaving her hungry for even more.  Thinking big again she summoned the largest star around, wanting to make sure she was never dwarfed again after this meal.

Betelgeuse was soon before her, and she didn't hesitate to dive into it.  As she sucked from the surface she burrowed deeper and deeper, aiming for the core of the star.  If anyone would have seen it, they would have thought she was dead as she disappeared into the fire.  The star was so sizeable it actually took her a few minutes to emerge victorious, replacing the fireball with an enormous sphere of well tanned flesh.

She was now the biggest thing in the galaxy, large enough now to see other galaxies in the distance.  Deciding to stay oranized she stretched her arms out and then pushed them back together.  The Milky Way responded by compressing, drawing all that remained into a much more compact area.  Everything was packed tightly together now, no gaps between anything.  As the black holes drew in the matter that wasn't melted by the collection of stars, she started swimming through it all.

It took a while to get through all of the material that had been stretched out over 80,000 light years, but Bobbi was relentless.  Once she had drained it all in she looked out at the other galaxies, taking a moment to reflect on herself.  Any dimension on her body was now measured in lightyears, and she couldn't even fathom the numbers it would take to measure her mass.

"Hmmmm... I'll have to make a new measurement.  It'll be the Bobbi... equal to one universe!  I wish all that remains would line up for me to eat!"

She smiled as she looked out into space, seeing universe re-arrange itself for her greedy desires.  The line of galaxies stretched out as far as she could see.  She dug right in, chomping through a smaller galaxy in a few bites.  The next went down just as easily, and after a few she was stuffing them down whole.  

She ate and grew, swelling closer and closer to the bounds of the universe.  A giddy laugh escaped as she saw the last of them coming into view.  She inhaled with all of her might and brought them all down together, wiping out the last remnant of existence into her all-consuming stomach.

She smiled in the darkness, rubbing over her belly and all that it contained, everything being churned down into soft pillowy fat for universal frame.  She thought about what to do next, change things back to normal or make more to eat.  She'd decide after a nap...